Equalist Propaganda

Previously, on Equalist Propaganda….

He will retain his position— unless he jumps in front of the Avatar’s polar bear dog, of course!

Haha, that was a joke, you see. It’s funny because it will never happen. Because it is absurd.

Ah, well, there’s no shame in a failed joke.

((And now, the conclusion.))

I didn’t think…

I need a bit of time to… recover from that particular coincidence. I will deal with him later.

I have vowed never to drink. It contaminates the mind and clouds thought.

However… tonight, I may break that vow. Just this once. For “celebratory” purposes.

You cannot drink through the former Wolfbat. Or, I assume you can’t, I haven’t tried. Ha ha. That’s not a bad joke, actually…. Try it on someone who knows more about comedy, you could do something with that. The city could use some decent performers.

Look at all of that. Alcohol doesn’t belong in a temple. I will punish the person who brought it here by drinking it. Yes, that’s a good excuse.

…

You’re still here? Go! Get some rest. The Acolyte’s quarters are very comfortable, and I will still be here tomorrow if you need anything.

((This is really silly. Be warned!))

Quite often. Especially tonight.

Lieutenant: Amon, you wanted to speak to me?

Not now.

You’re drinking? But you never drink.

Out.

Why do these people care about Cabbage Corp so much? The CEO’s already been replaced… I didn’t want to get involved with him, but no…. Moving on.

Look at all of this— it’s like a fully-stocked bar! You could make any drink you wanted. I could mix you a Jasmine Sunrise. I’m quite the bartender— one of my many skills.

Unlike fighting.

Hey.

I was humiliated, of course.

They are unique benders that I have not been trained to fight.

They are CHILDREN.

You don’t expect me to hurt children!

I didn’t expect you to KILL them, but I expected you to WIN. Just tying them up would have done fine, but….

Fartbending….

Apparently, I am so familiar with this man’s failings I can predict the future.

That’s not fair.

WELL…

That’s not fair at all!

I don’t see anything unfair about it. How many times have you failed in the past week alone? And you have failed in the most creative ways! It was only a matter of time before people other than me noticed.

I’ve succeeded a lot, too! Remember this:

I got the mask for you! I went right into the fire nation, found the best mask maker on earth, kept him quiet, got it all the way back here without anyone asking questions about A MASK LARGE ENOUGH TO—

Nothing excuses the obvious lack of diligence you’ve been giving to your training—

I HAVE BEEN TRAINING! I have followed every direct order you’ve given me, no matter how dangerous! I have always been loyal, I have— I’ve almost DIED trying to—

I need you ALIVE!

If we had captured the Avatar there, that would have been worth my life. Right?

No… No. That’s a sacrifice I— we— can’t make. We can’t replace you.

But if you keep being so reckless, you’re going to die, and you’re going to take a lot of good people with you. You’ve been too distracted and sloppy lately. We’ll train together tomorrow morning after the meeting. IF— IF you show you can handle it, you can keep fighting. If you can’t, you’ll be leading from behind.

You’re not going to demote me?

No. Like I said, we can’t replace the skills you have, and nobody knows the chi-blockers as well as you do.

…Thank you, Amon.

That doesn’t mean you can slack off! No more relaxing!

Says the man sitting in the booze room.

No more relaxing after tonight. I’ll take this “Jasmine Sunrise,” let’s answer some questions.

Yes, sir!

Drink up, sir. I’ll jot some notes down for the next one.

I’ll regret this, I know I will.

This mustache is quite common, actually. I know you worry about it, Amon, but it blends right in. Mine is just a bit long and especially well-maintained, if I say so myself. Besides, I’m hardly a public figure. Few people outside the Equalists see me on or off duty, so it’s not an issue.

There, all written down.

Amon?

I can’t read the next question. It’s blurry.

…You CAN’T be that drunk already.

Read it out loud.

Interesting idea—

Hiroshi Sato: Ah. Ahem. Well.

Warn me b’fore you barge in!

Good evening, Mr. Sato!

Good evening! I heard the alcohol was here, and a glass of wine before bed is good for the body— Am I interrupting something? I can leave.

We’re preparing answers for tomorrow morning’s meeting. And drinking. Here, answer this one— I’ll take notes, and we’ll get you your wine after.

Funding and designing is quite a bit already, isn’t it? But, I am also the head technician. Nobody knows the trucks, mecha-tanks, and airships better than I do. If anything went wrong on Amon’s airship, I would have been the best man to fix it! … Although, you should know there’s nothing to be done about the ships Beifong got to. I was going to tell you that tomorrow.

Even the one we got back?

It could be fixed, technically, but it’s not worth the effort. We have to cut our losses. One last blow from the ex-Chief! Thank goodness she’s locked up now.

We still have to be careful. A dangerous, angry woman.

Very.

…

Let’s do some more! This is fun!

THIS person again. Lieutenant, I told you to burn everything from this so-called writer.

I thought I did. I haven’t seen this for weeks!

Oh HO, this is quite funny!

Hn.

Cheer up. You know it was a good plan, we know it was a good plan— and if you can’t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at? What did they send you before?

Don’t ask.

Moving on…